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This Week in Dulture…
Approx 5 minute read:
🦵 A height hack for the vertically challenged
📺 Beast Games was MEH
🏃 Spray-on shoes
🐒 Yes, yes, PuNcH tHe MoNkEy
Dulture weekly mix
You ever go to the club and there's the guy playing the drums to the music and you stand there and watch him partially into it but also partially wondering why he’s playing drums to the beat when the beat already exists?
I don’t know - this mix reminds me of that guy. I feel like he’d have to try extra hard otherwise no one would even know he’s playing the drums given how loud the music already is.
Could we have just uncovered the hardest job in the world??
I don't know but enjoy this mix on this good ass Friday, people.
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I know why they call it doom scrolling now — the more you scroll, the more you realize how doomed we are.
Exhibit A: WTF is MAXXING?
For those of you who don’t doomscroll the way I do, looksmaxxing is basically a bunch of things guys do to their face in order to change the shape, from “mewing” to hitting their jawbone with a hammer in order to “chisel” the definition out of it.
Clavicular, a streamer who seems to be popping up more and more in my feeds, is essentially the definition of this.
But did you know there's many other types of “maxxing”?
Whether you wanted to know or not, get ready for this wild ride.
Healthmaxxing: Optimizing internal health and longevity through strict diets, supplements, and rigorous exercise routines.
Mindmaxxing: Enhancing intellectual capacity and knowledge through reading, skill acquisition, or educational pursuits.
Statusmaxxing: Focused on building social capital, career prestige, or personal branding to increase one's standing in society.
Personalitymaxxing: Improving social skills, charisma, and emotional intelligence to be more likable or influential.
Moneymaxxing: Concentrating entirely on wealth accumulation and financial optimization
Lethalitymaxxing: A humorous or ironic term used even by official government accounts to describe increasing combat effectiveness.
Friction-maxxing: A pushback against modern convenience, such as intentionally avoiding screens to address children's behavior.
Chinamaxxing: A viral Gen Z trend involving the romanticization of modern Chinese lifestyle, adopting habits like drinking hot water, using traditional herbal remedies, and wearing "Douyin" makeup.
Jestermaxxing: Intentionally acting as a "class clown" or silly person to gain attention or social approval.
Heightmaxxing is right up there with looksmaxxing where people were/are/wtf(?) getting surgery to extend the the bones in their legs to gain a few inches in height.
While limb lengthening surgery is typically done for people looking for a better quality of life because they were born with limbs that were different lengths, there’s perfectly normal guys out there cracking their bones just so that they gain a few inches.
Not everyone looking for a lil extra heigh is crazy though.
Good thing all I talk about is SHOES.
According to the internet (Google) the best overall pair of shoes you can get to increase your height are the Air Max DN’s. I know from personal experience these make me feel like I'm at least an extra inch and a bit taller…and I’m already 6’4.
Another common pair that a lot of people already rock are the Air Max 270’s - these too also feel like your heel is elevated because of how big the air bubble is.
Honourable mentions:
Air Force 1's - that sole is THICK.
Hooka Bondi 9 - speaking of massive soles.
New Balance 574 - I saw these everywhere in Asia, which makes sense right?
If you can't beat the internet, you might as well buy a pair of Air Max’s and join ‘em right?
WHAT KIND OF MAXXING ARE YOU??
Beast Games Season 2 Finale
Disclaimer: there’s some sort of spoilers in here so if you haven’t watched and plan on watching Season 2 of Beast Games, just scroll past this altogether.
OOOOOOK - the show's over, we know who won and once again, for the second year in a row, one of the most honest, likeable players in the show won the giant cash prize.
I grew up watching Survivor and Big Brother and I don’t remember the contestants being as nice to each other as they are on Beast Games.
Which leaves this weird taste in my mouth.
On the one hand the challenges in the show are interesting to watch - obstacle courses, strategic decision making on who gets handcuffed and left in a room, or in the second last game, who secretly presses the button and takes the million dollar cash prize (that was actually really good).
On the other hand, everyone is WAY TOO nice to each other. There’s a couple outliers but even they would be laughed out of my 1997 schoolyard for being “bullies".
I had a hard time watching Beast Games as a competitive show.
Everyone wants everyone else to win.
Everyone is just happy to be there.
No one really wants to take the money to screw over someone else.
But they all talk about being there to win for their family.
They all helped each other go through this maze challenge
So how are none of you ruthlessly going through the game trying to take as much as you can for yourselves??
Combined with the weird nature of the contestants, a couple episodes halfway through the season made it feel like they had run out of ideas and were trying to fill up time because they made a commitment to do film 10 episodes. We had two (maybe 3, I can’t remember) episodes where no one got eliminated - HOW BORING.
Season 1 was REALLY good
I've had more fun watching certain MrBeast YouTube videos than I did watching season 2 of Beast Games. And I watched the behind the scenes on YouTube of the making of the show so I know they’re still kinda figuring it out but for a show that boasts the largest cash prize in the history of game shows, you gotta give me more, especially from the contestants.
Would I recommend checking out Beast Games? Yes, if you’re looking for a game show to watch. But if you’re just looking for good television and think the biggest YouTuber in the world is going to give you that, you’re gonna be greatly disappointed.
And yes, well aware of how good the ratings for the show was - I just have higher expectations perhaps *shrug*.
Move Over Spray-on Tans!
There’s a new spray-on sheriff in town and it doesn’t live at the Jersey Shore.
In fact, it’s not the kind of spray-on you’re thinking of…it’s these shoes 👇
I know, I know, more shoes, I’m sorry! But the tech behind these On runners is too good not to talk about.
As you can probably already tell, the whole shoe is basically one big upper so it’s basically like putting on a sock.
Like cotton candy
The crazier part is the shoe is made from spray-on fibers. Picture the guy holding the stick thing at the carnival and as he dips it into the cotton candy machine, you see cotton candy forming - that’s basically how this show is built.
A machine sprays on the fibers.
Then cures it with UV lights.
And then inkjet prints on the colour.
The whole process takes 3 minutes - YES - this shoe takes 3 minutes to make with a robot.
Shoes aside, the idea of spraying fibers together onto a mold to get the product created is a revolutionary process. Clearly this can now be done for practically any size/shape of shoe, let alone other apparel items.
This actually feels like a thing Uniqlo would do with clothing - now I want to see spray on Heattech in the future.
Releasing officially on April 16th, the On Lightspray Cloudmonster 3 Hyper shoe will set you back $280 USD.
Did Y’all Forget?
This past week the world watched on with baited breath wondering when a little monkey in a Japanese zoo would finally make a friend.
In case you're living under a rock, Punch became more famous than Bubbles when he befriended an Ikea monkey stuffie and brought it everywhere he went.
I won’t bore you with the details because I’m sure you already know anyway. Even my 7 yr old knows who Punch is at this point.
I mean look what Google did when you search for him:
BUT this isn’t your first monkey rodeo. Remember this guy?
Back in 2012, Darwin, a little monkey wearing a fancy sheepskin coat, was seen wandering around a Toronto IKEA parking lot and eventually in the actual store.
Yeah, ngl, until the news blew up Punch, I had totally forgotten about the Ikea monkey - look at that jacket! lol
This is what’s wrong with our society, we forget about our viral monkeys way too soon.
And I hate to be a Debbie Downer but we’re all probably going to forget about Punch by Easter.
This is Darwin today btw - IN CASE ANYONE STILL CARED 😭
*I’ll try to bring you all a live update in June when I’m out in Japan..some of us will still be wondering…right…?